This week has been a doozy.
Monday, my husband spoke with his HR dept & was told him that after his medical leave expires (in a few weeks), company policy is to terminate the job if the individual isn't ready to return. (They had previously told him something different.)
In a panic to return to work or bust, I took him to work at 6:30am Tuesday morning to see if he could make it work in the office environment, as long as he had some quiet hours without everyone around.
(He has been working part time from home since the beginning of January.)
He called me at 10:30 and asked me to pick him up.
Apparently, he had popped his head into HR to say hello and was told that the info he had received wasn't accurate - which was a relief. But, they also freaked out that he was there. He had been in some meetings, and he had just told everyone that "I have the shakes/seizures" and kind of explained what happens and that he isn't in pain or hurt, but what to expect. As he chatted with the HR lady, he shook (the new normal around here), and she told him he had to leave the premises as his DR orders didn't say that he could come into the work place.
So, he came home and worked from home. He worked a strong day on Wed. until he received an email from HR asking him to cease working immediately. Due to the 'incident' (? whah??) they wanted him to stop and would have a phone conference with him on Thursday. So.... on Thursday, he had a conversation with them. Because of "what transpired" on Tuesday (seizing/shaking?? we don't know what else transpired) they are very concerned and want him to stop working so he can get better. In three weeks, if he isn't all better, they will terminate his job, but offered him an extended leave. If he isn't better by then, he could then be placed on a long term disability leave.
We are grateful for his company's generosity and willingness to work with him. But as it stands. Get better, or you can apply for a new job here or elsewhere if you ever get better.
He's been in a turmoil, trying to figure out if he can 'push through' everything to be better completely in 3 weeks. Including the 25% of traveling that he must do to fit his job description. It seems a very tall order.
So, we've had a very emotional week. UPs and Downs, and all around. What to think, what to do?
On the flip side of all of this, I want to share something very personal.
Do you believe in spiritual power?
I do. Do you believe in family spiritual power? I do.
I learned as a child. When a certain uncle was out of a job, or when a cousin was having a health problem, we all set aside a specific day to pray and fast together for that individual as a family. Grandmas and grandpas, uncles, aunts, cousins...all of us.
I saw it work.
I felt it work.
This weekend, desperately in need of family spiritual help, I messaged all of our aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews and the likes, (thank you for keeping us in touch face book), and asked them to all join with us in a family fast for my husband's health. (This means 24 hours of no food OR water - yep - 24 hours. We do it once a month. We try to focus on our relationship with Heavenly Father and bring our will more into line with His. We also donate the $ we would have used for food for the use of helping those in our area in need - it is beautiful.)
As I write this, it is 8:45 pm.
Is it too soon to say that it worked? That I know and have felt an incredible power from this prayer and fasting? I know it works.
I sent out the message on Friday night and awoke on Sat. morning with a feeling of strength. Strength that wasn't my own. It is hard to put a name on it, but I felt a steadiness and strength. I could feel the power of prayers being offered for us.
Today, I have not seen my husband have a seizure or shake even once. He said he had a super mini shiver of something earlier today while at church, but that's it.
Compare to two weeks ago - after an hour and a half of meetings, I had to take him home. Compare to yesterday, and every day before, since mid Nov. (except for Thanksgiving after my brother in law had done some brainwave balancing on him) and the daily multiple seizures and shaking - such as the 5 in one hour on Thursday at a dr. appt..
For now, for today - he isn't shaking. I'm not sure why. Do I believe that it was because of the faith, prayers, and fasting of others on his behalf? Absolutely.
Do I believe in miracles? Absolutely.
Am I afraid to wake up tomorrow? Perhaps a little, but I know that this is in God's hands. I have felt a calm reassurance that this is in His hands.
I have felt his love for me through the kind actions of others (like someone who just happened to bring dinner to our family out of the blue last week, or someone who called this morning to offer him a ride to an early meeting). I see God's love manifest in our lives. I know that He hears and answers our prayers. I don't know what direction our lives will take from here, but I know that I can trust God, because He is in charge, and all week a phrase has been rattling around in my brain.
That phrase is: "Be still, and know that I am God"
For today, I am incredibly grateful, still and in awe.